So you’re in your local Super Market / soulless grocery leviathan…and you need shampoo. Then you are faced with an entire aisle of hair soap. All lined up like enticing plastic soldiers, luring you in with promises that might temporarily ease the deafening lead klaxon of self loathing. Because let’s face it, the media wants you to know you can do better, no matter what hair you have, you need it better! 

 We are humans, we just need to shampoo a small percentage of our body hair. I would have thought dogs would need more variety than us as they’re covered in hair, and what about horses, buffalo, lions?  I’ll wager your average orangutan needs fancier hair soap than you.

Purfumes are another weird one. It’s not Georgian times you know! We have passed to time of having to cover the smell of our rotten teeth and gangrenous gussets. 

Here’s an idea, just have a regular wash with some soap and save yourself a small fortune on perfume. Plus you won’t smell like a prostitute’s armpit in a candy cane factory.