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Hello darkness my old friend…

The clocks have gone back one hour and now instead of being up at 6am, I’m now up at 5. I wouldn’t mind but the only TV on at that time is 20 channels of unfeasibly beautiful Americans selling living room contraptions for us fatties who don’t like sweating in public. 

How about a bit of fuzzy feel good TV at that time of day? Top of the Pops? Bagpuss? He-man? 

Then I can pretend it’s 1985 again, I’m a weird scruffy tomboy and the only things that concern me are ponies and fondant fancies. 

Those were the days! I would never have imagined I’d eventually end up here, living in a strange alternate reality to the ‘normals’. 15 years of changing nappies, watching Cbeebies and never growing up. We seem to be caught in a time loop like Miss Peregrine’s peculiar poppits! In a world of the eternal toddler!

Well I suppose as long as there’s plenty of tea and the BBC don’t put on that distinctly sinister florescent pom pom vom fest, ‘The Tweenies’, I think I can just about manage to bring myself to acknowledge the morning in due course. Tea! I demand to have some tea!!

 

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Life hacks: coping with nausea / morning sickness

No, I’m not pregnant again….But after the family recently suffered a bout of Norovirus I was reminded of how horrible sickness is and how debilitating it can be. 

So I thought I’d share a few of tricks I learnt when I used to suffer from terrible morning sickness.

1. Brush your teeth in the shower. I gagged everytime the toothbrush went in my mouth but if I did it in the shower, I didn’t gag. I think maybe the water on my head was distracting my brain. Anyway it worked for me! 

2. Dab a few drops of pure peppermint oil onto a handkerchief and keep it with you. Every time you have a wave a nausea, hold it to your nose. This helped me enormously.

3. When a wave of nausea hits, seek fresh air immediately then recite names of something you’re knowledgeable in. For me it was flowers. I’d stick my head out of the window and call out flower names! My neighbour’s probably thought I was mad but it worked! Again, it distracts the brain.

4. Now this might have just been me, but I found sweet black tea or Bovril were good hot drinks to drink gently after any vomiting. 

I really hope this is a help to some of you. 😊

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It’s the little things

It’s that tiny smattering of joy in your day that accelerates your wellbeing from surviving to thriving. We took the kids out for an evening meal for a treat and not only was there bags of room for wheelchairs, the waitress knew sign language! Naturally the kids completely fell in love with her, asked her what her name was, then spent all night calling her over to hold her hand and just beam smiles at her! 

What a lovely lady, and what a lovely evening. Very happy kids and a memorable outing that will stay with me always. 

It’s a simple thing to learn some sign language, every school should do it. The joy it brings and the boundaries it demolishes is very powerful! 

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Strictly come Prancing 

‘Tis the season for our BBC

To glow with tangoed sequinned glee,

For well known folk from stage and screen

Have books to sell and careers to preen.

For endless hours, every night

We can watch with adject delight

As a trussed up turkey from Albert Square

Gallops about with some creosoated mare

Well lucky for you and lucky for me

This series will continue endlessly 

Might just smash the TV and be done

And move to a cave in Azerbaijan 

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Life after death? Yes, but not like that…

This isn’t a religious post, merely a lighthearted pondering on Life, The Universe and everything.!

Being a non believer must be very bleak mustn’t it? No posthumous celestial party to look forward to, no dancing the funky chicken at 3am with a cloud of twinkling sky fairies..

Isn’t that awfully sad? Well, not to me, no.

I consider myself a lapsed Atheist really.  I absolutely love religious architecture, stained glass windows, church yards, ancient religious art not to mention dragons, fairies, unicorns, pixies and of course Hobbits! Magic, wonder and myth swirl around many aspects of life and much of it is fascinating and often beautiful.

Some folk believe in a God and that’s cool, whatever helps you get through life being an infinitesimal spec on this tiny blue dot in the vastness of time and space…

Some people find hope and peace from having a Faith. For me it’s all about the here and now. No planning for the beyond, no living a certain way to ensure I get that ‘heavenly golden ticket’! I believe we have one life, you have to make the most of it. Basically, be happy, be kind and don’t be a dick! Don’t waste your life doing a job you hate, don’t put up with shitty people in your life, do make the most of everyday. Of course this is sometimes easier said than done but when your time being alive is limited and fragile, you have to grasp every moment! Savour it! 

Do it!…Eat the cake! Wear the sequins! Dye your hair purple! Love unconditionally, go gently when judging people & don’t read the Daily Mail! 

And at the end?

It’s not the end, just a transition.

We give our bodies back to the Earth and slowly return to stardust. 

You live on in those who you leave behind. In their memories, in their photos, videos & keepsakes. 

Body and consciousness recycled & remembered! 

You are immortal!  

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The Wasp and the Light Bulb 

Oh fiery dome of gorgeous yellow 
Won’t you warm this weary fellow

For I have travelled from afar 

To head butt this sexy indoor star

She glows with such wanton lust

Waiting for my dozy thrust

Oh shimmering siren of molten shine

Whilst thou be forever mine?

May I burn my bottom & sizzle internally 

As long as you are mine for all eternity…