The worst sort of advertising 

Have you noticed the new trend of advertising? 

It isn’t just THAT fizzy pop merchant.

Banks, multi nationals, supermarkets, they are all seducing us by tugging at our heart strings.

If it isn’t a nauseatingly attractive family having joy spasms over substandard pudding, it’s a black horse galloping majestically through a hospital ward (presumably wearing non slip shoes.)

So basically we’re all supposed to just forget that the Banks screwed people over, ripped them off and ruined their lives? 

Companies and Banks that are little more than thieves, swindlers, fraudsters. Peddlers of obesity and diabetes. Destroyers of the environment and profiteers of suffering……

But Oh! look it’s an advert with glitter, kittens and rainbows….oh well then of course you’re forgiven for being morally bankrupt parasites!

Voyeurism television. 

I’m imagining the pitch now…’this is a real groundbreaking show, picture this…. people watching people watching television’.

‘Gogglebox’. What seems like endless hours of watching strangers, who I have no interest in, comment on television programmes that I never watch.

 Let’s not forget those other televisual gems: ‘a day in a hospital’, ‘exciting car crashes, dead or just badly maimed?’ and of course ‘screaming women in labour’.

Then we have the staged versions such as ‘Creosoted toffs of Chelsea’ and ‘tangoed teens of Tyneside’ etc. (you get the idea!)

The news stands have also drip fed us bullshit for years so now its the norm. ‘womens magazines’ are merely catalogues of sensationalist hate, charging you money so you can read how you could be hotter and thinner and ‘omg look at the state of her!’

What do we gain from all this? There’s no stimulation of imagination or learning, no enhancement of wellbeing. 

Why are we being fed voyeurism television and trash reading?  

We’re consuming junk.

Junk food, drink, television and magazines. 

Junk makes you distracted, vegetative and compliant.
Now who benefits from that?

Tis the season…

….when a bunch of over paid show offs try and sell us exorbitantly priced stink water in fancy bottles because apparently everybody in the world has forgotten about soap …. Falalalala..lala..lala

Halloween is barely cold in its elaborately decorated ‘Day of the dead’ coffin before BOOM! The consummerist orgasmic explosion that is Christmas bursts into our consciousness like a vulgar, over familiar glitter Labrador. You love it dearly but wish it would wait until you’re ready for it.

Why does it start so early? Relentless advertising: Perfume, chocolate, alcohol, food, trinkets, electronics, toys, stuff, things, crap, landfill.

I think there’s alot to be said for making presents. Be it homemade jam, a knitted hat or a somewhat peculiar effigy of Shadowfax whittled out of polystyrene. 

It’s the time, thought and injuries incurred during the making that counts.

Hello darkness my old friend…

The clocks have gone back one hour and now instead of being up at 6am, I’m now up at 5. I wouldn’t mind but the only TV on at that time is 20 channels of unfeasibly beautiful Americans selling living room contraptions for us fatties who don’t like sweating in public. 

How about a bit of fuzzy feel good TV at that time of day? Top of the Pops? Bagpuss? He-man? 

Then I can pretend it’s 1985 again, I’m a weird scruffy tomboy and the only things that concern me are ponies and fondant fancies. 

Those were the days! I would never have imagined I’d eventually end up here, living in a strange alternate reality to the ‘normals’. 15 years of changing nappies, watching Cbeebies and never growing up. We seem to be caught in a time loop like Miss Peregrine’s peculiar poppits! In a world of the eternal toddler!

Well I suppose as long as there’s plenty of tea and the BBC don’t put on that distinctly sinister florescent pom pom vom fest, ‘The Tweenies’, I think I can just about manage to bring myself to acknowledge the morning in due course. Tea! I demand to have some tea!!